So for the last few weeks, I have noticed that in my son’s
class, the children have started doing something that I forgot from when I was
a child. That being, saying things to each other that put friendship in the
balance. Like, “If you play with that person, we won’t be friends”…or if you do
something they don’t like, they disinvite you. The funny thing is, I don’t
remember kids doing this when I was a kid, but I was painfully shy as a boy,
while my son is pretty popular and in the middle of everything already. Yes, he
is only 4 and in Pre-K, but the intricacies of children’s friendships is pretty
fascinating. So, as a parent, how do you handle these situations?
Kids need to work things out
amongst themselves, at a certain point. There is a pecking order and a playtime
atmosphere that the children create and should be in charge of, and too often
adult involvement will backfire. Letting kids handle their own difficulties also
teaches real world lessons in dealing with difficult people.
2. Get involved- to a point
If there is some danger to the
situation, or feelings are going to be crushed, then adult involvement is
probably necessary. Even after the initial situation is taken care of, adults
need to take a step back again. Children need to remain in some control of the
difficult situation or else neither child will ever learn the right behavior.
3. Remove the kids from each other
If difficulties and differences
cannot be resolved, then the kids are going to have to removed from each other,
and this does include heavy adult involvement. It’s the last thing any child
wants, and it embarrasses everyone, so this needs to be the last recourse.
What other advice do we have for when children argue,
disagree, and need help?
Labels: difficulty, Kids, Relationships